first day of high school

Tomorrow morning is my first day of high school in 3 years. Ha. I'm taking a class this semester called Teacher Assistant Practicum (TAP), where I have to log 5 hours/week at a local high school being a teacher's aide. I've been located at Northpointe Christian High School in a Spanish classroom. I'm technically an English major, so I should be in an English classroom, but I guess there were no more positions available by the time they got around to me, so since I'm fluent in Spanish, that's where I ended up. And that's fine - I'm happy with it - the classroom experience is what I really need. Tomorrow will be my first day meeting the kids and getting introduced to the classroom and the routines, but after a few days, I'm sure I'll be doing a lot of grading, making copies, leading activities, designing bulletin boards, etc. I even have to have myself videotaped teaching a lesson by the end of the semester for evaluation. I know it's all nothing like student teaching or being a full time teacher for that matter, but it's a huge step for me, especially as I'm still so doubtful about my abilities and general calling to the classroom. I absolutely love kids, but there are so many doubts still...

Thanks for all your prayers always.. If you would, too, be praying for Breana also, as she heads to India this week. I am so excited for what the Lord has for her there, and yet I know that there will be many hard times too... I worry for her a good bit, but I know that she will be doing what she loves most. :-) Just pray that God would bless the work of her hands and the words of her mouth there -- that He would be sufficient for her, and that He would give her the strength that she needs every day to keep serving and loving like Jesus. We will all miss her...

And last of all, for tonight, I don't want to go into depth, but I just want you to know that I could really use your prayers right now too. This last week has been one of the hardest weeks of my life, and I am just feeling so torn and broken. I need Jesus. Pray that I would really fix my eyes on Him right now, and that His Spirit would lead me into truth, and heal the wounds with grace, and give me peace, and enable me to run the race this semester. But most of all, pray that He would teach me to just be still and wait for Him. I struggle with that so much. I know that He will bring me out....sometimes it's just a long road..

I am so thankful for each of you, my friends. Thank you for everything.