- I walked outside today and the sun was shining and I heard birds singing for the first time in months. The snow has all melted for the second time this winter... Spring is fighting back. :-)
- I saw Seven Pounds last night. It's a Will Smith movie, so you can't really go wrong, and the acting and screenplay were excellent, but it was a very dark film.. I have very mixed feelings about that movie... Would Ben Thomas have considered me a good man..? How would I have measured up? It made me think of how fragile life is....who knows how much time we have left... Why am I not giving more? But despite all my mixed feelings, one thing is for sure: it made me appreciate the life that I have. I am so undeservedly blessed..
- When the Hansen Center is completely empty at the end of the day and it's dark outside and the main lights are out and it's all quiet except for the dull hum of the ceiling fans and the soft buzz of the few dim lights left, I think it can be one of the most amazing and yet lonely places in the whole world.
- I wondered today: what is our obsession with publicizing our personal feelings online? Have you ever thought about that before? I'm thinking specifically of Facebook statuses right now, but it applies to blogging too. Maybe it's just me, but I struggle so much with wanting to put something online particularly when I am having a rough time -- usually I don't want to come right out and say that I'm having a rough time, but I'll look for some vague song lyrics to put up or write a poem or think of some other round-about way to hint at the world that things aren't good... And it's all subconscious.... Why? I think that we are a disconnected generation who desperately want to be heard and known and loved anyway....
- Where did all of our peanut butter go???
- I'm currently looking into 4 different schools in Morocco, Israel, Pakistan, and Ethiopia to do my student teaching at. There might be other options other than the ones posted on the list on www.interactionintl.org, but I have to call to find out. Exciting stuff. :-)
- Where in the world is God leading me this summer?? I wish I wasn't so awful at waiting....
- I found a world map today in the Hansen Center while I was on duty about the size of an average poster that was laying near the garbage, so I took it home. It's a nice map... I was trying to decide where to put it up when I finally decided that I would thumb tack it to the underside of the bunkbed above me so that I can look at it as I fall asleep every night... I don't know why -- maybe I'm weird, but I just love looking at world maps... I think I could spend all day in front of the one huge one in the library, just looking at the different countries and dreaming of all the different places in the world... It was a good find today. :-)
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
sometimes
We sang this hymn in chapel today, and it has caused me to think all day... It has been years since I heard it.... Zach Vincent, who was helping to lead worship, softly mused that sometimes he feels like we Christians are so quick to mention Christ's resurrection as soon as we speak of His death that we effectively "skip over" dwelling on the magnitude of what He did for us by dying on the cross...
Sometimes, he challenged quietly, it is good to sit in tears and brokenness at the foot of the cross... If you know the words, I would invite you to take a moment sometime to close your eyes and sing this slowly and quietly instead of skimming over it..... Let it sit on your heart..
Sometimes, he challenged quietly, it is good to sit in tears and brokenness at the foot of the cross... If you know the words, I would invite you to take a moment sometime to close your eyes and sing this slowly and quietly instead of skimming over it..... Let it sit on your heart..
Where you there when they crucified my lord?
Where you there when they crucified my lord..?
Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble...
Where you there when they crucified my lord?
Where you there when they nailed him to a tree?
Where you there when they nailed him to a tree..?
Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble....
Where you there when they nailed him to a tree?
Where you there when they laid him in a tomb?
Where you there when they laid him in a tomb..?
Oh, sometimes....sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble...
Where you there when they laid him in a tomb?
Where you there when they crucified my lord..?
Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble...
Where you there when they crucified my lord?
Where you there when they nailed him to a tree?
Where you there when they nailed him to a tree..?
Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble....
Where you there when they nailed him to a tree?
Where you there when they laid him in a tomb?
Where you there when they laid him in a tomb..?
Oh, sometimes....sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble...
Where you there when they laid him in a tomb?
Sometimes......it causes me to tremble....
Friday, February 20, 2009
new things
Dear friends,
God is doing wonderful things. Let me tell you. :-)
Last week I started tutoring at a small school called the Potter's House in downtown Grand Rapids for one of my classes. It's a small Christian school located right in the middle of the slums of GR. It began 25 years ago or so by several Calvin College graduates who had a vision for establishing a school in the poorest part of the city that would offer a solid Christian education for economically disadvantaged families and immigrants who wouldn't be able to afford it otherwise. It is beautiful.
They meet in an old, partially run down facility in the middle of the slums, and much of their resources are outdated, but the people there are amazing. My first day there I tutored an 8th grade girl from Puerto Rico, a 6th grade boy from Bosnia, and another 6th grade boy from downtown Grand Rapids. And yesterday I helped a 12 year old boy from Tanzania take a Bible test who had grown up in 3 different refugee camps in east Africa and had only lived in the United States for one year. He knew 5 other languages. The students are SO diverse -- Koreans, Bosnians, Mexicans, Porto Ricans, Indians, Venezuelans, Tanzanians, Israelis, and locals... And those are only the few that I have met so far in 2 days...
All I know is that after helping that Tanzanian boy understand his English Bible test yesterday, I knew....I knew that that is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It is so crazy how God has brought me from a place of such uncertainty about teaching English over the last few months to a place of such joy and confidence in doing that work. There are still plenty of doubts, but one by one, He is tearing down the walls. Praise the Lord!
As for the next big thing God is doing... I had a meeting today with Darla England in the Teacher Ed division about doing my student teaching overseas, and I met with Gerald Longjohn (in charge of cross cultural ministries on campus) last week to talk about my desire to eventually teach overseas, particularly in the Middle East as he served in Dubai as a missionary for many years himself. And both of them were so encouraging. I will spare you the details, but from those 2 meetings it looks as if I will be able to find a placement overseas in almost any country I wish for my student teaching next spring, and there is a very good possiblity that I could be teaching full time overseas, if that is where God takes me, as early as the beginning of next summer. I could not be more excited! :-)
Please continue to pray that God would make His will for my future ever clearer to me as time moves on, and that He would give me the faith and flexibility to follow in His easy yoke over the next year. Pray that He would make me patient and teachable...
And thank you for all of your prayers already. He is leading me to exciting new things. :-)
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
the whole story
Yesterday in chapel, our university president, Joe Stowell, spoke to us about his recent trip to Southeast Asia. He had been there to speak at a conference for Christian English teachers with the organization ELIC (English Language in China). ELIC recruits Christian English foreign language teachers from the U.S. to teach in China, to use English as a gateway to bringing the gospel to this closed country. Over the years, however, ELIC has grown and now sends teachers to China, Hong Kong, Laos, Cambodia, Napal, Thailand, and Vietnam. From what I understand, there were hundreds of these teachers at this conferece in Thailand.
Anyway, ELIC took the opportunity to video some of the conference and put together a short film on their ministry and the people it works with, which Joe Stowell shared with us in chapel.
There was some introduction to the video, but the main part of the film consisted of a montage with a song playing in the background where current ELIC teachers at the conference faced the camera with two outstretched fists, side-by-side, in front of the camera. One by one, the people would open their right hand first, palm up, to reveal the first part of their testimony written on their hand. After a few seconds, they would then open the other hand to reveal "the rest of the story."
Some people had written things like, "0-21: defining who I was" and then, "22-today: allowing myself to be defined by Jesus Christ."
Or, "4 years of misery resisting God's calling" and then, "Peace and fulfillment teaching in Laos until Abba moves me. 3 years and counting..."
Or, "A lifetime struggling with depression and anxiety disorder" and then, "Chains broken by the Great Healer."
Or, "No real passion for the Cambodian people" and then, "Deepest love for the Cambodian lost 2 years later."
Their testimonies were so powerful. But one thing hit me hard...
There was one girl on the video who I'll never forget. She literally couldn't stop smiling..
Most people showed their right hand with a straight face, and then smiled when they revealed the second hand revealing the story of their redemption, but this girl smiled the entire time. And it wasn't one of those fake smiles... She just couldn't stop it. She didn't try. It just overflowed. Even when she showed the first hand, her excitement was bubbling over -- she couldn't WAIT to show her other hand...
I want to be like that girl...
Because it struck me that this is what God's children are -- they are a people who know the whole story! Like an excited little kid, they are a people who can't wait to show the "first hand" because they know the joy found in the second hand! They are a people who smile in the midst of darkness and overflow with excitement in the revelation of their weaknesses because they know the rest of the story! They are a people unashamed -- a people unafraid -- a people who burst with joy at the sight of brokenness because they know the freedom found in the bittersweet refrain:
Jesus saves!
Anyway, ELIC took the opportunity to video some of the conference and put together a short film on their ministry and the people it works with, which Joe Stowell shared with us in chapel.
There was some introduction to the video, but the main part of the film consisted of a montage with a song playing in the background where current ELIC teachers at the conference faced the camera with two outstretched fists, side-by-side, in front of the camera. One by one, the people would open their right hand first, palm up, to reveal the first part of their testimony written on their hand. After a few seconds, they would then open the other hand to reveal "the rest of the story."
Some people had written things like, "0-21: defining who I was" and then, "22-today: allowing myself to be defined by Jesus Christ."
Or, "4 years of misery resisting God's calling" and then, "Peace and fulfillment teaching in Laos until Abba moves me. 3 years and counting..."
Or, "A lifetime struggling with depression and anxiety disorder" and then, "Chains broken by the Great Healer."
Or, "No real passion for the Cambodian people" and then, "Deepest love for the Cambodian lost 2 years later."
Their testimonies were so powerful. But one thing hit me hard...
There was one girl on the video who I'll never forget. She literally couldn't stop smiling..
Most people showed their right hand with a straight face, and then smiled when they revealed the second hand revealing the story of their redemption, but this girl smiled the entire time. And it wasn't one of those fake smiles... She just couldn't stop it. She didn't try. It just overflowed. Even when she showed the first hand, her excitement was bubbling over -- she couldn't WAIT to show her other hand...
I want to be like that girl...
Because it struck me that this is what God's children are -- they are a people who know the whole story! Like an excited little kid, they are a people who can't wait to show the "first hand" because they know the joy found in the second hand! They are a people who smile in the midst of darkness and overflow with excitement in the revelation of their weaknesses because they know the rest of the story! They are a people unashamed -- a people unafraid -- a people who burst with joy at the sight of brokenness because they know the freedom found in the bittersweet refrain:
Jesus saves!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
me and my baby face
Not a ton of time here between classes, but I had to share this story! Ha.
I got up early this morning to go do my Teacher Assisting at Northpointe High School (sidenote: at 6am I could already tell it was going to be a crazy day -- I have always known that I struggle when it comes to dressing myself formally, [Haha. Yes, you heard me.] and therefore, I leave an extra hour every morning before work to decide what I'm going to wear and tie my tie. Ridiculous? Yes, I know. But this morning was REAL bad, haha. First, I had just washed all of my button down shirts the night before and had forgotten to iron them. Typical. It wouldn't have been a problem except that I know for a fact that there isn't one single iron on the whole 2 men's floors of Crawford Residence Hall, haha. Oh well. So I gave up that idea and decided to borrow a shirt from Caleb [my roommate]. Then I had to tie my tie. Usually I leave about 20 minutes every morning for this battle, lol. But today I had misplaced my printed tie tying guide from Google, so instead of turning on my computer and waiting and looking it up and all, I decided to go solo. Which worked out ok -- after a few minutes of experimenting, I remembered HOW to tie my tie, but I simply could NOT tie my tie. It was either too long or too short or crooked or the knot was too fat or too skinny -- you get the idea. I used all 20 minutes. And still wasn't satisfied. But it was good enough -- especially after I threw a jacket on over top. I ran out the door and made it just on time.).
Anyway, looking back, that was a foreshadowing of my morning at school this morning. Lots of crazy things happened, but I have to tell this one.
So Mrs. H sent me into the copy room to make 90 copies of 2 different worksheets, and hole punch them and staple them into packets, and glad to have something to work on, I made my way confidently to the office. She had showed me how to use the 2 copy machines last week, so I walked in the empty room and began scanning my original papers. Not 5 seconds after I arrived, however, at least 5 or 6 other teachers walked in the room behind me needing to make copies. The first lady in went straight to the other machine and got to work, but the next one in was a man, and seeing a teacher at the other machine, he immediately turned to me and his eyes widened in horror as he saw me just punching in the amount of copies I needed (I had not even begun to copy anything yet). Immediately he reached over and put his hand on my shoulder and pulled me back out of the way and said, "What are you doing in here? You are not allowed to use this room!"
Shocked, I looked at the other teachers looking at me and stammered, "Umm, I'm a TA for Mrs. H and she sent me in here to make copies of these worksheets."
"I don't care," he said, "You are not allowed to use this room without office training. Unfortunately, Mrs. H is going to have to make her own copies, or you can ask someone who knows what they're doing."
Trying to seem as respectful and innocent as possible (while admittedly grinning in my head), I held the papers out to him and said, "Well then would you mind helping me make these copies?" He had a stack of papers in his own hands that needed copying.
Realizing what he had just said, he annoyedly replied, "Uhhh, I don't have time for that. Why don't you go check with the secretary."
So, nodding politely, and with a "Yes, sir. I will. Thank you," I stepped aside. He then stepped in front of me and started to use the machine, but my paper was still in there, so he grunted and said, "Now you've got this all set up the wrong way (aka, the wrong way for what HE needed -- I had done it right)." As he fiddled with it, pressing buttons, it finally froze on him. "See, that's why you can't be in here. Everyone needs copies and now the machine's broken." I just stood there grinning in my head, but managed a serious, "I'm sorry, sir," before I took my things and left.
Anyway, I gave Mrs. H the report, and after several apologies, she rolled her eyes and escorted me back to the room to work things out. All the teachers were gone by then, however. With the copy machine up and working again, she apologized a couple more times and said that she would clarify things with the other faculty as soon as she could, and then had me get back to work. After she left, I snuck out to the office, though, and asked if they had a badge for substitute teachers or student teachers. They did, and I put the badge in my pocket and returned to the copy room. I got through most of the stack, and was in the middle of the last few copies, when an arm from behind me reached around and pushed the "Stop" button on the machine, and a familiar voice said, "Didn't I just tell you that you weren't allowed in here? Come with me."
He turned to go, but I touched his arm, holding up my badge and said, "Sir, I'm sorry, but I'm a student at Cornerstone University. I'm working with Mrs. H. this semester."
He had just opened his mouth to say something, but at that, he snapped it shut and a look of horror passed over him again, and he said, "Oh my goodness, I am SO sorry! I thought you were...I just thought.....I mean, I...I'm very sorry. I thought you were a student! I feel SO awful; here, what can I do for you?"
After that, he was very kind and helpful, and I managed to get everything done just fine. It was all just a misunderstanding, and I got his name after that, and we chatted a bit, and we're pretty much best friends now, but that was the highlight of my morning, haha. Oh man...high school....lol.
I still don't understand how he could have thought that I was a student when I was dressed in a suit and tie and it was pajama day during spirit week today, so all the students were in their PJs...ha. Oh well, I guess that's what I get for having such a cute little baby face... haha. Maybe I do need to bring back the harley biker beard! ;-)
I got up early this morning to go do my Teacher Assisting at Northpointe High School (sidenote: at 6am I could already tell it was going to be a crazy day -- I have always known that I struggle when it comes to dressing myself formally, [Haha. Yes, you heard me.] and therefore, I leave an extra hour every morning before work to decide what I'm going to wear and tie my tie. Ridiculous? Yes, I know. But this morning was REAL bad, haha. First, I had just washed all of my button down shirts the night before and had forgotten to iron them. Typical. It wouldn't have been a problem except that I know for a fact that there isn't one single iron on the whole 2 men's floors of Crawford Residence Hall, haha. Oh well. So I gave up that idea and decided to borrow a shirt from Caleb [my roommate]. Then I had to tie my tie. Usually I leave about 20 minutes every morning for this battle, lol. But today I had misplaced my printed tie tying guide from Google, so instead of turning on my computer and waiting and looking it up and all, I decided to go solo. Which worked out ok -- after a few minutes of experimenting, I remembered HOW to tie my tie, but I simply could NOT tie my tie. It was either too long or too short or crooked or the knot was too fat or too skinny -- you get the idea. I used all 20 minutes. And still wasn't satisfied. But it was good enough -- especially after I threw a jacket on over top. I ran out the door and made it just on time.).
Anyway, looking back, that was a foreshadowing of my morning at school this morning. Lots of crazy things happened, but I have to tell this one.
So Mrs. H sent me into the copy room to make 90 copies of 2 different worksheets, and hole punch them and staple them into packets, and glad to have something to work on, I made my way confidently to the office. She had showed me how to use the 2 copy machines last week, so I walked in the empty room and began scanning my original papers. Not 5 seconds after I arrived, however, at least 5 or 6 other teachers walked in the room behind me needing to make copies. The first lady in went straight to the other machine and got to work, but the next one in was a man, and seeing a teacher at the other machine, he immediately turned to me and his eyes widened in horror as he saw me just punching in the amount of copies I needed (I had not even begun to copy anything yet). Immediately he reached over and put his hand on my shoulder and pulled me back out of the way and said, "What are you doing in here? You are not allowed to use this room!"
Shocked, I looked at the other teachers looking at me and stammered, "Umm, I'm a TA for Mrs. H and she sent me in here to make copies of these worksheets."
"I don't care," he said, "You are not allowed to use this room without office training. Unfortunately, Mrs. H is going to have to make her own copies, or you can ask someone who knows what they're doing."
Trying to seem as respectful and innocent as possible (while admittedly grinning in my head), I held the papers out to him and said, "Well then would you mind helping me make these copies?" He had a stack of papers in his own hands that needed copying.
Realizing what he had just said, he annoyedly replied, "Uhhh, I don't have time for that. Why don't you go check with the secretary."
So, nodding politely, and with a "Yes, sir. I will. Thank you," I stepped aside. He then stepped in front of me and started to use the machine, but my paper was still in there, so he grunted and said, "Now you've got this all set up the wrong way (aka, the wrong way for what HE needed -- I had done it right)." As he fiddled with it, pressing buttons, it finally froze on him. "See, that's why you can't be in here. Everyone needs copies and now the machine's broken." I just stood there grinning in my head, but managed a serious, "I'm sorry, sir," before I took my things and left.
Anyway, I gave Mrs. H the report, and after several apologies, she rolled her eyes and escorted me back to the room to work things out. All the teachers were gone by then, however. With the copy machine up and working again, she apologized a couple more times and said that she would clarify things with the other faculty as soon as she could, and then had me get back to work. After she left, I snuck out to the office, though, and asked if they had a badge for substitute teachers or student teachers. They did, and I put the badge in my pocket and returned to the copy room. I got through most of the stack, and was in the middle of the last few copies, when an arm from behind me reached around and pushed the "Stop" button on the machine, and a familiar voice said, "Didn't I just tell you that you weren't allowed in here? Come with me."
He turned to go, but I touched his arm, holding up my badge and said, "Sir, I'm sorry, but I'm a student at Cornerstone University. I'm working with Mrs. H. this semester."
He had just opened his mouth to say something, but at that, he snapped it shut and a look of horror passed over him again, and he said, "Oh my goodness, I am SO sorry! I thought you were...I just thought.....I mean, I...I'm very sorry. I thought you were a student! I feel SO awful; here, what can I do for you?"
After that, he was very kind and helpful, and I managed to get everything done just fine. It was all just a misunderstanding, and I got his name after that, and we chatted a bit, and we're pretty much best friends now, but that was the highlight of my morning, haha. Oh man...high school....lol.
I still don't understand how he could have thought that I was a student when I was dressed in a suit and tie and it was pajama day during spirit week today, so all the students were in their PJs...ha. Oh well, I guess that's what I get for having such a cute little baby face... haha. Maybe I do need to bring back the harley biker beard! ;-)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
