A unique thought occurred to me today while I was taking a shower.... (Which, by the way, is one of the best places to go if you need to think -- second only to the toilet, IMHO...) Anyway, I was thinking about something I had talked to one of my campers about earlier today, about God being able to sympathize with us in every situation because he was here. He was human. But then this thought just kinda jumped at me: Has God ever experienced confusion? ......Was Jesus ever confused? Because that's definitely not the picture you get of Jesus from reading the gospels -- even though people sometimes had a hard time understanding his motives or reasoning for things he did (like when he decided to wait before visiting Lazarus when he knew he was sick), he always had motives. He always knew exactly what he was doing. ....Or did he?
I don't know why this stuck with me, but it just made me curious. I don't know if you know the song "I have been there" by Mark Schultz (it's a good song), but this made me think of that. When we're confused and we call out to God out of the depths of our confusion, does he understand that?
Which makes me think even more, because when you get down to it, what is confusion? Isn't it the inability to discern between the right path and the wrong path? Or at least usually we use it in that context.... But weren't we given the ability to discern between right and wrong when Adam and Eve ate the fruit in the garden?
Some good questions... And I'm afraid I don't have answers... Just more confusion, ha. :-) Maybe I need to take another shower??? ;-)
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
confessions of a camp counselor
3:24 pm. 6 minutes left of break before the kids come back. Haha, oh the life of a camp counselor. ;-)
But it's been good this week. Music camp is the longest camp of all, lasting 7 days instead of the usual 4, so it can get pretty tiring, but so far I haven't run into any major problems, and for that I'm thankful. This week I'm in charge of ten 8 and 9 year old boys, and last night, while I was trying to get everyone settled in their beds and quiet for story time/devotions before bed (and I was quite obviously a little frustrated and tired by the end of the day), one little black kid raised his hand, and said, "Is it hard taking care of kids?" Hahaha, I about lost it! God is so good. :-)
So you can be praying for me and my kids this week. And all summer, really, but especially this week. Pray that even though they are young, that God would speak to each of them here at camp somehow, and that if nothing else, that each one would leave here knowing that they were loved this week. And pray for strength for me to be patient and loving, and just ask that God would give me the wisdom I need to handle this group and that He would use me -- in all of my imperfection -- to serve and love with the courage and the humble attitude of Jesus. God knows I need it. :-)
3:34 pm. Time to supervise the fishing dock! Peace!!
p.s. -- I'll have to post later all the funny things that my kids said this week... I've been writing them down, ha!
But it's been good this week. Music camp is the longest camp of all, lasting 7 days instead of the usual 4, so it can get pretty tiring, but so far I haven't run into any major problems, and for that I'm thankful. This week I'm in charge of ten 8 and 9 year old boys, and last night, while I was trying to get everyone settled in their beds and quiet for story time/devotions before bed (and I was quite obviously a little frustrated and tired by the end of the day), one little black kid raised his hand, and said, "Is it hard taking care of kids?" Hahaha, I about lost it! God is so good. :-)
So you can be praying for me and my kids this week. And all summer, really, but especially this week. Pray that even though they are young, that God would speak to each of them here at camp somehow, and that if nothing else, that each one would leave here knowing that they were loved this week. And pray for strength for me to be patient and loving, and just ask that God would give me the wisdom I need to handle this group and that He would use me -- in all of my imperfection -- to serve and love with the courage and the humble attitude of Jesus. God knows I need it. :-)
3:34 pm. Time to supervise the fishing dock! Peace!!
p.s. -- I'll have to post later all the funny things that my kids said this week... I've been writing them down, ha!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
I love this song...
Hush now, my sweet little noisy boy,
There's trouble enough in the world.
Pick up your feet little lazy boy;
Come dance with your little girl.
Swing me 'round this kitchen floor
Like a carnival,
Toubadour.
I know that we're only two-bit clowns
In a one-ring circus.
But make me a little bit dizzy, boy;
Swing me on your trapeze.
When I'm in the arms of my dreamy boy,
It still makes me weak in the knees.
Right here on this record player
Is our scratchy song,
We're alone.
Slide trombones like an orchestra
Full of fortune tellers.
Come now, my sweet little breathing boy;
I'm listening hard to your heart.
It's as strong as a lion's, boy,
Let's leave here and make a new start.
I remember once you said,
Lying in this bed,
"The past is dead;"
Everyday is a one-act play
Without an ending...
- "Hush Now" by Over the Rhine
Over the Rhine is a folk/rock music band by a couple from Ohio. The husband plays guitar, bass, and piano, and his wife sings. I'm not sure if they're believers, but their story and their lyrics sure suggest it. This song was actually written a couple of years ago when they were going through a rough time in their marriage, and the album, Drunkard's Prayer, actually chronicles part of that story, and how they went from frustration and mistrust to rediscovering each other and their love. I just think it speaks such a powerful message of redemption into a broken world...
Hush now, my sweet little noisy boy,
There's trouble enough in the world.
Pick up your feet little lazy boy;
Come dance with your little girl.
Swing me 'round this kitchen floor
Like a carnival,
Toubadour.
I know that we're only two-bit clowns
In a one-ring circus.
But make me a little bit dizzy, boy;
Swing me on your trapeze.
When I'm in the arms of my dreamy boy,
It still makes me weak in the knees.
Right here on this record player
Is our scratchy song,
We're alone.
Slide trombones like an orchestra
Full of fortune tellers.
Come now, my sweet little breathing boy;
I'm listening hard to your heart.
It's as strong as a lion's, boy,
Let's leave here and make a new start.
I remember once you said,
Lying in this bed,
"The past is dead;"
Everyday is a one-act play
Without an ending...
- "Hush Now" by Over the Rhine
Over the Rhine is a folk/rock music band by a couple from Ohio. The husband plays guitar, bass, and piano, and his wife sings. I'm not sure if they're believers, but their story and their lyrics sure suggest it. This song was actually written a couple of years ago when they were going through a rough time in their marriage, and the album, Drunkard's Prayer, actually chronicles part of that story, and how they went from frustration and mistrust to rediscovering each other and their love. I just think it speaks such a powerful message of redemption into a broken world...
Monday, June 16, 2008
peace like a river...
I've told myself countless times that I will not post on here if I am either feeling tired or it is late (as in past 11pm). But here I go again -- breaking the rules. It always happens this way, no matter what I tell myself. I think mainly because at the end of the day when you're winding down, all the thoughts and emotions from the whole day just start whirling through your head, and so there's quite a lot to write about. Of course, the downside is that usually by that time I am already quite tired, emotionally unstable, and prone to write things I will immediately regret in the morning. Ha. Which is why none of this is very deep so far. ;-)
Anyway, I thought I'd change it up some and give you the top three things that I've been thinking about today:
1) "We definitely live in a world of misunderstandings."
- I wrote about this some last time, but it's become more and more and MORE clear to me over the last week or so. We are SO quick to judge each other and jump to conclusions!! And I know that I'm just as guilty as anyone else out there (and it makes me sick!), but seriously! I think maybe I've noticed it more this week just because I've had my eyes open for it more, but I can't even COUNT all the times this week that I've heard people make premature judgments about others, or that I've witnessed misunderstandings, or that I've caused misunderstandings. It really, honestly makes me sick when I think about it. Which is why I'm moving on to point 2 before I get carried away...
2) "I like working maintenance. Some."
- So this week I don't have campers. It's an all girls camp, so the male staff members are working maintenance instead this week. I don't think I could work a job like maintenance forever, but it always feels so good to me to get my hands dirty! Ha. I know it's cliche, but it's so true! I haven't decided if that's just a guy thing or if it's an everyone thing, but I love it. Maybe it's because physical labor actually has immediate, apparent results, and you can SEE that you've done something and accomplished something in a day's work. I don't know. I just thank God for the ability to use my body to do physical work... I don't think I thank him enough for that.
3) Now that I think about it, number three is more of a toughie. It's more of a blend of lots of different things going through my head, all connected somehow, but all unsorted and basically one big mess. Mostly about relationships... And I hate messes. I hate living with a mess. Some people can just ignore messes until later, but I can't. I've always kept a clean room and kept my things pretty organized, and if there was ever a mess in my room, I couldn't concentrate on doing my homework or reading or enjoy doing anything anywhere near my room until I got things cleaned up. I think that's also a disease, ha! But it's the way I've always been, and I think my thought-life is much the same. And when there's no mess, I couldn't be better, but when there's a mess, I can't think about anything else until it's resolved. ....gosh, I hate messes!
Well, there you have it -- the top 3. Or.....more like the top 2... lol. Whatever -- shut up. ;-) So yeah, today was one of those more messy days, for sure, but I know that my God is alive and that He is sitting on the throne -- all sovereign, all powerful, and EVERYTHING is under His feet! And I KNOW that all things work out for those who love God, and I'm clinging to that promise. God is good!! -- yesterday, today, and tomorrow. And that's enough for me. :-)
Peace!!
Anyway, I thought I'd change it up some and give you the top three things that I've been thinking about today:
1) "We definitely live in a world of misunderstandings."
- I wrote about this some last time, but it's become more and more and MORE clear to me over the last week or so. We are SO quick to judge each other and jump to conclusions!! And I know that I'm just as guilty as anyone else out there (and it makes me sick!), but seriously! I think maybe I've noticed it more this week just because I've had my eyes open for it more, but I can't even COUNT all the times this week that I've heard people make premature judgments about others, or that I've witnessed misunderstandings, or that I've caused misunderstandings. It really, honestly makes me sick when I think about it. Which is why I'm moving on to point 2 before I get carried away...
2) "I like working maintenance. Some."
- So this week I don't have campers. It's an all girls camp, so the male staff members are working maintenance instead this week. I don't think I could work a job like maintenance forever, but it always feels so good to me to get my hands dirty! Ha. I know it's cliche, but it's so true! I haven't decided if that's just a guy thing or if it's an everyone thing, but I love it. Maybe it's because physical labor actually has immediate, apparent results, and you can SEE that you've done something and accomplished something in a day's work. I don't know. I just thank God for the ability to use my body to do physical work... I don't think I thank him enough for that.
3) Now that I think about it, number three is more of a toughie. It's more of a blend of lots of different things going through my head, all connected somehow, but all unsorted and basically one big mess. Mostly about relationships... And I hate messes. I hate living with a mess. Some people can just ignore messes until later, but I can't. I've always kept a clean room and kept my things pretty organized, and if there was ever a mess in my room, I couldn't concentrate on doing my homework or reading or enjoy doing anything anywhere near my room until I got things cleaned up. I think that's also a disease, ha! But it's the way I've always been, and I think my thought-life is much the same. And when there's no mess, I couldn't be better, but when there's a mess, I can't think about anything else until it's resolved. ....gosh, I hate messes!
Well, there you have it -- the top 3. Or.....more like the top 2... lol. Whatever -- shut up. ;-) So yeah, today was one of those more messy days, for sure, but I know that my God is alive and that He is sitting on the throne -- all sovereign, all powerful, and EVERYTHING is under His feet! And I KNOW that all things work out for those who love God, and I'm clinging to that promise. God is good!! -- yesterday, today, and tomorrow. And that's enough for me. :-)
Peace!!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
It struck me today how true the saying is: "Actions speak louder than words." In fact, I'd venture to say that when it comes right down to it, words alone are absolutely meaningless -- they all depend on a context. Well, unless they are negative words... which is a whole different intriguing story of its own.
And it's a little frustrating, because I'd like to think of myself as being fairly talented when it comes to words, but I know that my actions do not always back up what I'm trying to communicate, which I'm sure confuses many people.
It makes me wonder if we all just live in a world of misunderstandings where the exception happens on the rare occasion that someone's actions and words actually do consistently line up. Except that Jesus' words and actions lined up perfectly and he was one of the most misunderstood men in all of history... Or maybe that's why we misunderstood him....?
It's all very curious... Or maybe it's just late?? ;-)
And it's a little frustrating, because I'd like to think of myself as being fairly talented when it comes to words, but I know that my actions do not always back up what I'm trying to communicate, which I'm sure confuses many people.
It makes me wonder if we all just live in a world of misunderstandings where the exception happens on the rare occasion that someone's actions and words actually do consistently line up. Except that Jesus' words and actions lined up perfectly and he was one of the most misunderstood men in all of history... Or maybe that's why we misunderstood him....?
It's all very curious... Or maybe it's just late?? ;-)
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
So now that I have officially turned 20, I shall have to tell you what it's like... ;-D
First of all, I had the best birthday that anyone could have ever asked for! Thank you to all you who helped make it special. :-) It began at 12am with a bunch of the other camp staff bursting into my cabin and singing Happy Birthday and giving me a basket of surprises, including a rubber turtle, a matchbox Mustang car, bubbles, and......a gamecube. Yes, a gamecube. WITH Super Smash Brothers! haha. It's the first video game console that I've ever owned, so it was a sentimental moment.
And I have also never owned a rubber turtle.... ;-D
THEN, I had some meetings in the morning at camp, made a run to CU to check my mail (and got some cards and cash from the rents and the g'rents), hit up Best Buy with Rafael to buy him a laptop, came back to camp, changed, headed back to CU for dinner with Bre and Cynthia (which was AMAZING!! They made me the best homemade dinner, complete with green tea and jell-o cake, and then gave me a SWEET gift -- some snazzy shorts and a sweet polo, which magically make me sexy, ha! ;-D), then back to camp for some games, and ended the day watching the Spain vs. USA friendly soccer match that was on.... Couldn't have been a sweeter birthday! I think I can get used to this whole being 20 thing.... ;-D
First of all, I had the best birthday that anyone could have ever asked for! Thank you to all you who helped make it special. :-) It began at 12am with a bunch of the other camp staff bursting into my cabin and singing Happy Birthday and giving me a basket of surprises, including a rubber turtle, a matchbox Mustang car, bubbles, and......a gamecube. Yes, a gamecube. WITH Super Smash Brothers! haha. It's the first video game console that I've ever owned, so it was a sentimental moment.
And I have also never owned a rubber turtle.... ;-D
THEN, I had some meetings in the morning at camp, made a run to CU to check my mail (and got some cards and cash from the rents and the g'rents), hit up Best Buy with Rafael to buy him a laptop, came back to camp, changed, headed back to CU for dinner with Bre and Cynthia (which was AMAZING!! They made me the best homemade dinner, complete with green tea and jell-o cake, and then gave me a SWEET gift -- some snazzy shorts and a sweet polo, which magically make me sexy, ha! ;-D), then back to camp for some games, and ended the day watching the Spain vs. USA friendly soccer match that was on.... Couldn't have been a sweeter birthday! I think I can get used to this whole being 20 thing.... ;-D
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Last Reflections of a Teenager ;-D
I am currently approximately......1 hour, 18 minutes, and 16 seconds away from leaving my teenage years......forever.
Moment of silence, please.
Thank you. ;-)
Anyway, I don't know if I'm just still in denial or what, but so far I haven't experienced any "quarter life crisis" paralyzing shock, random choking, or suicidal thoughts, (like some have suggested will undoubtedly happen), so I'm thankful for that, ha. In fact, I'm very thankful just in general. Life couldn't be much better than it is now. And that's especially funny to me, because I realize that not even a week ago I wrote about being utterly confused and mixed up, but like I mentioned in my last post, God really hit me in a powerful way this weekend, and things clicked, and since then, I've felt almost surrealistically surrounded and guarded by the incomprehensible peace of God. Philippians 4:4-8 has spoken to me in SUCH a powerful way... :-)
1 hour, 7 minutes, 4 seconds to go.
As I look back at my teenage years, I'm simply amazed at how far I've come and how much has changed in my life... Spain, middle school, ECA soccer club, Michael Steffens, moving to Camarma, Georgian Bay trip, Daniel Perez, Andrew Chamberlain, Veracruz F.C., high school, Camarma F.C., World Cup 2002 (haha), Berea, KY, friends, trip out west, work in Columbia, SC, junior year, AYG, L'Arcada, Jacob Bock, JM, Jessie Doland, Corrie Bontrager, Senior year, Lara Meinke, Senior Trip, World Cup 2006, Joel Musser, Grand Rapids, MI, Blue Like Jazz, Cornerstone, Quincer, Ian Grotenhuis, adjustment, more friends, Crossroads Bible Church, change of major, Breana Brendsel, Little Pine Island camp and camp staff, Searching for God Knows What, my first cell phone (haha) RCE, Crossroads CG, Quincer 2007-08, Made Man, my first car, Little Pine Island II: The Sequel (haha), and....here I am. ;-) I couldn't have asked for anything better. And God has been there every step of the way, guiding, providing, teaching, disciplining, stretching, challenging me, loving me unconditionally, growing me into "all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be" (Phil. 3:12). What an awesome God I serve!!
46 minutes, 39 seconds left.
Over all these years I could not have asked for a more supportive family, for more caring friends, more encouraging mentors, or more amazing grace than was given to me. Maybe that's the reason why this moving forward thing is not a problem for me... I have seen the mighty hand of God at work in my life, in the good times and the bad, providing for and guiding me this whole way, and I am confident that He has SO much more in store for me. And "I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate ME from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus MY Lord" (Rom. 8:38-39)
And frankly, I'm stoked. :-D
And now, if you don't mind, I'm going to get off here and enjoy my last 32 minutes and 51 seconds of teenage life. See you on the flip side. ;-D peace!!
Moment of silence, please.
Thank you. ;-)
Anyway, I don't know if I'm just still in denial or what, but so far I haven't experienced any "quarter life crisis" paralyzing shock, random choking, or suicidal thoughts, (like some have suggested will undoubtedly happen), so I'm thankful for that, ha. In fact, I'm very thankful just in general. Life couldn't be much better than it is now. And that's especially funny to me, because I realize that not even a week ago I wrote about being utterly confused and mixed up, but like I mentioned in my last post, God really hit me in a powerful way this weekend, and things clicked, and since then, I've felt almost surrealistically surrounded and guarded by the incomprehensible peace of God. Philippians 4:4-8 has spoken to me in SUCH a powerful way... :-)
1 hour, 7 minutes, 4 seconds to go.
As I look back at my teenage years, I'm simply amazed at how far I've come and how much has changed in my life... Spain, middle school, ECA soccer club, Michael Steffens, moving to Camarma, Georgian Bay trip, Daniel Perez, Andrew Chamberlain, Veracruz F.C., high school, Camarma F.C., World Cup 2002 (haha), Berea, KY, friends, trip out west, work in Columbia, SC, junior year, AYG, L'Arcada, Jacob Bock, JM, Jessie Doland, Corrie Bontrager, Senior year, Lara Meinke, Senior Trip, World Cup 2006, Joel Musser, Grand Rapids, MI, Blue Like Jazz, Cornerstone, Quincer, Ian Grotenhuis, adjustment, more friends, Crossroads Bible Church, change of major, Breana Brendsel, Little Pine Island camp and camp staff, Searching for God Knows What, my first cell phone (haha) RCE, Crossroads CG, Quincer 2007-08, Made Man, my first car, Little Pine Island II: The Sequel (haha), and....here I am. ;-) I couldn't have asked for anything better. And God has been there every step of the way, guiding, providing, teaching, disciplining, stretching, challenging me, loving me unconditionally, growing me into "all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be" (Phil. 3:12). What an awesome God I serve!!
46 minutes, 39 seconds left.
Over all these years I could not have asked for a more supportive family, for more caring friends, more encouraging mentors, or more amazing grace than was given to me. Maybe that's the reason why this moving forward thing is not a problem for me... I have seen the mighty hand of God at work in my life, in the good times and the bad, providing for and guiding me this whole way, and I am confident that He has SO much more in store for me. And "I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate ME from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus MY Lord" (Rom. 8:38-39)
And frankly, I'm stoked. :-D
And now, if you don't mind, I'm going to get off here and enjoy my last 32 minutes and 51 seconds of teenage life. See you on the flip side. ;-D peace!!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Today I finally moved into my cabin that I'll have for the rest of the summer. In fact, I actually JUST finished moving in, and I'm sitting here on my bed now at 11:30pm, looking around the room, listening to music, and just feeling very satisfied. God is good. This week is staff orientation, then my sister gets here, and then camps start. My summer is about to officially begin. It's good. :-)
Other than that, I think God hit me up side the head with a 2x4 today. Or, as Rod would say, "God smoked me," ha. I don't even know if it was so much anything particular that was said in church, but some things just clicked for me this weekend and I felt SO convicted, and so desperately in need of Jesus. Part of it is just what I've been reading in Philippians 3 and 4 over the last 2 days. I can't even begin to describe what some of those verses have come to mean to me this weekend.
And then just today, I sat and talked with Josh Thayer this morning for an hour or so for the first time ever, and last night I talked with Dave Geroux for a good bit, and then I sat and had a good chat with Kyle Bos before church this morning, and it struck me what awesome men each of those guys are. I haven't talked with any of them for any more than a couple hours at the most, but already I look up to them, and today it just hit me how godly those guys are and where they have their priorities and how much I admire them for it, and how far I feel like I've fallen from that standard over the last semester. I've let so many other things come into my life and consume my time and my thoughts recently, and I need to get back to the source.
So that to say that I made a decision today in church that I'm going to start hanging out with some of those guys this summer. One thing I've realize recently is that I really need some strong godly men in my life. I can't say that I have any deep influences like that right now, but I want that to change. "As iron sharpens iron..." I'm excited. :-) It's time for a change.
Other than that, I think God hit me up side the head with a 2x4 today. Or, as Rod would say, "God smoked me," ha. I don't even know if it was so much anything particular that was said in church, but some things just clicked for me this weekend and I felt SO convicted, and so desperately in need of Jesus. Part of it is just what I've been reading in Philippians 3 and 4 over the last 2 days. I can't even begin to describe what some of those verses have come to mean to me this weekend.
And then just today, I sat and talked with Josh Thayer this morning for an hour or so for the first time ever, and last night I talked with Dave Geroux for a good bit, and then I sat and had a good chat with Kyle Bos before church this morning, and it struck me what awesome men each of those guys are. I haven't talked with any of them for any more than a couple hours at the most, but already I look up to them, and today it just hit me how godly those guys are and where they have their priorities and how much I admire them for it, and how far I feel like I've fallen from that standard over the last semester. I've let so many other things come into my life and consume my time and my thoughts recently, and I need to get back to the source.
So that to say that I made a decision today in church that I'm going to start hanging out with some of those guys this summer. One thing I've realize recently is that I really need some strong godly men in my life. I can't say that I have any deep influences like that right now, but I want that to change. "As iron sharpens iron..." I'm excited. :-) It's time for a change.
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