global opportunities???

It's always so interesting to me how college life seems to come in spurts of "Fridays." It's not like the rest of the week isn't filled with excitement and work and life-giving experiences, but...there's just something about Fridays. Something about knowing that your work is done for a time and that you don't have to worry about what needs to be done or what you "should" be doing. There is time to read, time to chill in the Corum, time to observe, time to enjoy just for the sake of enjoying it. Time to journal..... ;-) Sometimes I can't wait until the day when we find ourselves back in Eden...living life in the fullness of our new bodies and in the overwhelming light of the Father's amazing love... One day we will see face to face... :-)

But all that to say that I'm loving life right now. It has its ups and downs (last night being one such "down" -- I worked on a paper all night until about 3am..blah) and I have my fits of mood swings and attitudes, but overall I really couldn't be more content or feel any more blessed. :-)

It was Global Opportunities Week here at Cornerstone this week, and that has really got me thinking about some things, particularly about my future and the call that I have felt on my life since my senior year of high school to serve Christ overseas. I've had a wide mix of feelings and thoughts on that subject throughout the week, but most of them have centered around my anxiousness about the whole thing. It's not that I've started doubting my passion for serving overseas or knowing God's calling to this area, but it's just been a general vague feeling of being overwhelmed...of not knowing where to start...when to start....what I should be doing to prepare to start... And I guess just a general fear that this will all turn out to be another dream (if there's one thing I know about myself, it's that's I am a dreamer, an idealist, and a romantic; I'm one of the best "brainstormers" you'll ever meet, but I struggle on the practical end of things many times...) and never something I will actually take hold of and take initiative in to actually make happen. And I don't want that. I don't want my dream to serve to end up being an empty wish. I struggle believing whether I trust myself to follow through; maybe that's what it boils down to. I never want to become "comfortable" with being "comfortable;" that is one of my greatest fears.

So for now I'm praying, I'm examining myself, and I'm trusting Him to complete His work in me until it is accomplished. I know that as long as my desire is to please and glorify my Father, He will do in me and use me the way He intends. It hasn't been a week of worry or stress in this sense, it's just been in the back of my mind... and it's been good. It's been a good week. :-)