Where does all the time go? I am now 2 full years into my college experience, and I am fully convinced that time does indeed speed up sometime after the summer of your graduating year of high school, ha! The days just aren't as long anymore... Well....except for Mondays. ;-)
Another thing that I have realized that is quite sad is that in all of my business, it seems that I have nothing exciting to write about. Which, besides being disappointing for you (as the reader), I'm sure, it was also very depressing for me when I realized it, oh...about 5 minutes ago. A whole week has gone by and I have no deep thoughts, no inspiring moments, no introspective, life-changing ideas to share?? What kind of sad existence is that??? What is the point if I am not growing, serving, being challenged, and learning new things? Unfortunately, I believe I have fallen into some small slump of "Comfortability" recently. Not that life has been easy or boring for me over the last 2 weeks, by any means at all (in fact, it has been quite the opposite: busy, stressful, and most tiring, although it has also definitely had its ups), but it's more that I feel like I have fallen into a life of routines recently, which greatly saddens me and has left me feeling somewhat restless. I need a new challenge. Which I think is a good thing, for the most part. You need to feel that way every once in a while; it's healthy.
The problem is, I don't exactly know how to fix it. Initially I thought that if I sought out some more ways to become involved in my immediate communities, that would provide some more opportunities for growth. So I started attending a 6am men's prayer group from my church on Wednesday mornings, I signed up to work in the nursery at church every other Sunday or so, and soon I will be joining another church Bible study/prayer group. And I already lead a small group at school, work 15 hours a week, have classes, and am on the men's soccer team. Makes me tired just thinking about it!
But it's only been tonight that I just started wondering if maybe greater involvement isn't necessarily the key to this growth and change of pace and fullness of life that I so desperately crave right now. Something deep down inside seems to be whispering that adding more things to an already crammed to-do list probably isn't going to give me the relief and fulfillment that I'm looking for, even if I am doing them with a pure heart and an honest desire to serve and love and grow...
So where does that leave me? I don't know. I honestly just worked all this out in my head right now. And maybe that in itself all I need to add to my hectic schedule: some time set aside every day for reflection and prayer and goal-setting. I already have a time set aside in the morning for a devotional and some prayer, but maybe the key to making sense of everything is just adding in some extra time to be still? I guess it can never hurt to try... :-)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
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1 comment:
hey, my friend, i hear your frustration...maybe instead of more business, you need less! when was the last time you just had time to sit and think--not about all you had to do but about things bigger and outside of the details of life? it is hard in college (and in the US) to not get caught up in all there is to do. i'm not referring to more devotional time (although far be it from me to discourage it!) but some blocks of time to detox from life, think about the things that really matter and talk with the Father. keep hanging in there!!!
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