What am I doing with my life???
I need to vent... I just finished watching the movie The Kite Runner... I read the book last September and I remember being left with the same impression.
It turns your stomach...
What am I doing here? Sitting in my own room..well clothed....well fed....paying $25,000 a year to attend a private university in the United States...listening to music from the Evensong team over in Daverman singing about serving Christ......IN GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN!!!
not that you can't serve God in Grand Rapids, guys, but....................come on!!
what am I doing?
why me? ....why here???? Is this really what You've called me to, God??? now????
..............or am I just the biggest fool in the world.....?
....O God, have mercy on a wretched man!!
About Me
- Aaron and Katie Musser
- Aaron and Katie are a recently married dynamic husband and wife teaching team who love Jesus, love kids, and love life. They were raised as missionary kids in Spain and Turkey, respectively, were married in May of 2013, and currently work at Centennial Christian School in Seoul, South Korea, where they get to live out their dreams, loving and teaching international students every day. :-)
3 comments:
God doesn't want all of us to become missionaries to third-world countries. It's for some, but not all. There are hurting people here, dying people here. There are people who have never heard the name of Jesus. There are people living in complete darkness. Whether or not they are living in completely desolate conditions or not...their hearts are black...are dying...are in need of water, living water, and of life.
You are where God has called you to right now. I ask myself every day as well why I am here right now and not there. But we don't have to know. We do what we can here, and follow as He leads.
God has children in Grand Rapids, too, that are hurting, broken, and so lost. Be the change that you wish to be here and now and let Him figure out the rest.
He's so much bigger than what we could accomplish on our own anyway.
Surrender and trust.
::sigh::
I know...
I don't think I'm questioning why I'm in GR so much as I am just ashamed and embarrassed at how easy it is for me to forget that big picture and get lost in my own little world... to forget the hurting and the lost and the dying...
How easy it is to get comfortable...to get caught up in routines and little worries and how easy it is to say hollow prayers and live hollow lives..to see without caring and live without dying...
And I'm SO guilty.... it breaks my heart.
It's good to have those feelings once in a while. Don't let them just be feelings though...let these convictions change your life.
I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord
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